The Call of the Loon in the Night

We took it out of doors this weekend, packing the car and heading North into the wilderness of the Adirondack Park. We met up with friends outside Saranac, at Fish Creek Pond, which looked more like a lake to me. The shore was ringed by camp sites, so it's easy to get waterfront property, which is cool if you have boats, you can pull right up to your site.

You would think that camping attracts a certain mindset - people who enjoy communing with nature. People who maybe need to live in urban areas because of jobs or whatever, but when they can, they want to escape to the woods, to be on the water, to smell the burning wood of a campfire and hear the call of a loon in the night.

Well, sorry. You'd be wrong, because a-holes camp too.

Take for example the family with a fifth-wheel as large as the Queen Mary, powered by two ill-maintained generators banging like the cast of Stomp. They thoughtfully position those beasts on the OTHER side of his trailer from where he and his brood hang out, so the neighbors get to hear/breath the excrement from those devices. I can only imagine that the same guy practices his electric guitar on his back porch so the neighbors can enjoy his scatty version of "Smoke On The Water". When you yell at hit to shut up, he no doubt turns it up and shouts back "YOU shut up!". Yeah, he's that guy.

In my mind, camping is at it's essence a stripping away of modern conveniences, and by an extension of that, a removal of things in our daily life that cause stress. Some people think of camping as moving their comfy indoor life outside for everyone to see. Like barcaloungers. I have to say I've never even contemplated bringing mine along for a camping trip. The site a few over from ours had 2, his and hers. I can only imagine the conversation leading up their trip. "Honey? Have you water-proofed the lazy-boys? We got the big camping weekend coming up...". In the defense of this dubious outdoorsman, the normal camp chair may not be up the heftiness of his stature, so the extra support may be warranted. I just found the presence of indoor furniture unusual.

On the first evening at the site, sitting by the smoking fire watching the sun dip below the trees, a lone loon gave it's winsome cry. It was immediately echoed by yells from around the lake of "Yoooohooooo!" Then I realized the initial call was not a loon, but some yahoo across the way yelling "YOOHOOO!" It was like a sporting event, when someone starts a wave, and it rolls around the arena, the yells of "YOOOHOOO" rebounded around and around. My friend anticipated my initial question and said "Yeah, they do that. We heard it last night." The cries of "Yoohoo" alternated with "Marco!" and sometimes "Polo!". This went on for 30 minutes of almost constant wailing around the large lake. So here they were, away from all the urban noise and chaos - causing noise and chaos. i wanted to stand up and yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" but that would have just been playing into their plan. We just waited them out, and soon they calmed down and went back to watching their tv's. Yeah, they brought their tv's with them.

After dusk, my daughter and I pushed the canoe out into the water and glided across the glassy surface, paddling slowly. We listened to the conversations that carried out from shore, the people huddled around fires laughing and talking. After making a circuit around we realized that the yoohooers were the minority, the majority were like us, just there to relax in the woods by the water in relative quiet. Then there are some that enjoy the idea of bringing their indoor urban life outdoors. Like being able to watch "Biggest Loser" while reclined in your Lazy-Boy, yoohooing at your neighbors under a blanket of stars.

Sweet.

Take us out, Giada!

You're Number 1!

Hey Bitches. Wassup?

I can't stop laughing at this one.

A Tribute to Application Programming

Because somebody had to somehow code this application to catch the unacceptable answer.

Good questions, all.

No, really. What the hell is that thing?

So begins

A week of my favorite thing in the world, Fake Inspirational Posters! Someone sent me a huge batch, so I'm going to pop a few of the best ones up here during the week, mostly for my own enjoyment/sanity. May is just kicking my effin ass.

Let's start with this one:

I love the helmet, the shoes, the banana hammock, the socks and the fire. It's hard to tell, but he's also carrying a 2x4 in his other hand, like a walking stick. I tried, but cannot concieve any scenario where these elements would occur, which is why it is so awesome.

More later.

Addendum

This just makes my previous point. Whatever that was.

Don't Bring Your Kids To Work Day

One of the cuts my company made recently was the "Take Your Child To Work Day". It's not the $1.99 breakfast that was the huge expense to the company, but the fact that the employees who participate waste a day of not getting work done.

I was a bit put off. Whenever I brought my kids in to the office, they worked. My daughter spent one entire TYCTW Day shredding financial documents. She learned a lot, and had fun. AND still had all her fingers at day's end.

When my son came in, I had him dust and vaccum my cube from top to bottom. The kid is a real go-getter, and he chased dust bunnies all over the place for most of the day. I tell you, the place never smelled so lemony-fresh. And he learned that without an education, he could look forward to more of the same for a job going forward.

The burn for me was that some people DID bring their kids to work on that day this year. Apparently it was an unadvertised policy that employees could bring their kids in to the office, there just wouldn't be any formal recognition of the day. So if you were "in the know", you could participate.

Such.

Bullshit.

I get it that times are tough financially, and the company needs to cut things to save money. The way the company has gone about it has been by just not mentioning what is being cut and maybe nobody will notice. I did notice I didn't get a bonus, and that my medical plan now requires me to wash the doctor's car in the lot while I wait to be seen. That's bad enough, but why do I have to wear Daisy Dukes while I soap and rinse his Benz? It's so humiliating, and I'm sure my dentist is going to expect the same treatment soon.

The burn is that they consider me too stupid to notice when things are missing, since they never offically sent a memo saying something was cancelled, or wasn't going to happen. And maybe thye are right, that only some of us notice that things changed. Or in the grand scheme of things, we're lucky to have a job and those of us who have a problem should shut the hell up.

Maybe. Like I said, I know things have to be cut. I'd just appreciate it to be done up front, instead of in stealth.

Let's leave off on a good note. Check out this video on taking you kids to work. Very well done!