Doggie Style

So here's my idea.

There's a place up for sale in the area, a pet boarding business. I have been mulling in my diminutive cranium a few ideas for alternate methods for generating income. Something I can do in my older years, because I can't wrestle midgets forever. At some point I have to find something a bit more stable. The idea was born in of all places "I Love NY Pizza", which for those of you outside of the Albany area, I'm sorry, for it is the best pizza in this world. You'll have to take my word for it.

Anyhoo. Sitting there munching on delicious pizza, relating to some people my various ideas for other jobs. Most are un-researched, far-flung exercises in futility, but it's good to talk things out with smart people, which I was in the presence of. I mentioned that I was thinking of setting up a pet boarding business, maybe take in a few cats or dogs a week to generate some extra income. Pausing from his chicken parm pizza slice, My friend Jim (another Jim) suggested that there was a local place up for sale. Turnkey, baby!

So now I'm thinking about it. In the back of my head, mulling mulling. It's nice to have new possibilities to mull when other things churn in the brain. Good to have something else keeping me up at night, or greeting my mind when consciousness arrives at morning light.

I try to look at it from all sides. As one friend put it, "Dude, one word - poop." Yes, the waste issue is a concern. I would have to figure out something to deal with the "by product" as it were. Can't I hire a high school kid to scoop it and do the other cleaning duties while I supervise? Isn't that how it works? Then there are my kids, who would love to make some money on the side to augment the zero dollars they get as an allowance. In my defense, they don't do anything to earn the zero dollars, hence they get zero dollars. I'm kidding, they do some chores, but I consider them basic "room and board" activities which deserve no recuperation.

Besides poop, there's barking/whining/crying. The place would have to be soundproof, or I would need a really good stereo system. Or bring my ear protection I use when mowing the lawn. I've heard the cacophony at the dog shelter in town, and it can be mighty. I might need to keep a supply of muzzles on hand, in case I need to impose "quiet time".

Another issue - pet expiration. Not sure how good I would be at greeting customers with a dead pet. "How was your vacation? Oh, yeah, Fluffy kind of died while you were gone. Thank you, come again!" Awkward! Do you make them pay for the full stay, or just the days the pet was still alive? Is it insult to injury to hand back a limp feline and demand cash?

Finally, the name of the place. If you don't have a good name for your business, you'll never make it. I am inspired by a local guy who has the most perfect name for his business, which just so happens to be pet related. The guy has a mobile dog grooming business, a large white van and the name on the side? "Doggie Style". I shit you not. So I need a name like that, one that will crack up half the population, and go over the heads of the others, but still be effective. I'm not that creative, so all I can shoot for is something accurate. "Chez Pets" was one idea. "Drop 'Em And Run" was another, but that is kind of vague as to what the business is. People may try to leave kids with us, and we wouldn't be properly certified for that.

These are some the things I would need to work through. Sounds like I need another business meeting at I Love NY.

Totally off subject, I hate you , AT&T. You guys are effin crooks.