An Excellent Waste of Time

My Christmas went reasonably well, thanks for asking. With all the drama in the air the past few months around here there was a possibility of real excitement - like a family brawl on the lawn like something you see on cops. But nothing too wild developed, which was fine by me.

Santa brought a Wii to us this year, and it has been a big hit. My kids are way into it, as am I. We have the basic sports game it came with and it's really amazing. As someone who started video games with the Ti99 computer (yes, with the tape cassette drive!) then Atari, Commadore 64, and onward - well, all I can say is the Wii kicks serious butt. No more sore thumbs, choppy graphics or psudo-interactive gamin. Now you actually PLAY in the game by physically moving around, doing the motions. So effin cool.

My Uncle Pete was over the other day for a post-xmas visit and the kids were showing him the new toy. As a priest, his exposure to video games though the years has been limited, but he soon allowed himself to be pushed into playing the golf game. Within minutes, he was grousing and complaining just like if he was playing out on a real golf course.

The funny thing was he felt the little Nerf golf club you pop the remote into needed to be on the ground, like he was hitting a real ball. As a result, he played bent over almost in half which meant his swing was all sideways and he kept hooking the ball into the woods.

To his credit, he retained his preistly cool and never threw a club, which was good because it could still do damage to the tv even though tit is nerf. I found that out when I wacked myself with the foam tennis racquet. Very graceful.

I really wanted to get a picture of Pete Wii boxing, beating the sin out of a computer-generated opponent. Or maybe we'll have multiple controllers by his next visit and one of the kids will take him on.

Which presents an interesting ethical question. If you KO a priest, can you still go to heaven?

In Synk

What is more uncomfortable, realizing that every time you happen to visit the washroom the same guy is there next to you, or having that guy point out the fact that you and he are on the same pee schedule?

I didn't even think about it, aside from a minor case of deja vu at seeing the guy in the stall next to me. But he couldn't leave it alone. He had to say something.

"Hey, looks like we're on the same schedule, huh?"

It didn't help that the guy that pointed it out is not my favorite person. Now he wants to bond with me because we urinate at the same times every day?

I usually have a dumb comment to break up any uncomfortable situation, but this time I just stood there staring at the tiled wall thinking 'get me the fuck out of here'.

Neck Face

The Bruins game on Saturday was a wild one. 19,999 rabid Boston fans and me (I'm a Rangers fan first, but then Bruins). My bro had scored primo seats 14 rows up in the opposing end, which is the second best place to be, center ice being the premier seat. But a close second choice is the opposing end. We were close enough to see the expressions of pain on the players faces when they got driven into the boards and glass. You can't get that on tv.

Another thing you can't get on tv is the sense of how bizarre the fans are. Most are festooned in Bruins attire, very rarely do you see someone wearing a non-Boston hat or shirt. The fans yell to each other even when standing right next to each other, and you can't go to the bathroom without someone trying to high five you every five feet. Contributing to the friendly joviality is beer. Lots of beer. Most load up before arriving, as the prices in the TD arena are not such that you can get drunk without dropping a shitload of green.

A good portion of the section next to us were drunker than a frat kid on Friday. They taunted the opposing goalie by chanting "Headddddddburrrrrrg!" over and over thinking that they were getting into the head of the opposing goalie Hedburg. That they started the chanting after the Bruins were already up by 2 goals didn't stop them from feeling like they were the reason the Boston team was up. As loud and annoying it must be hearing your name chanted by the opposing fans, I don't think it did much to impact his play.

The best thing, though, was the guy sitting a few rows in front of us. The back of his fleshy head was interesting and disturbing all at once. The pattern was not rolls of skin, but a marbelly texture, which resembled what the inside of a brain looks like. Almost like he was missing his cranium in that section, and we were gazing upon his unprotected brain.

We mused on the sight, aided by a few beers. During the lapses in the action, we pondered the sight. Tim pointed out there looked like there was a face visible beneath the hairline. And with the dark patch of close cut hair, it looked like a face behind a mask. "Hey, it's batman." Tim said. Which was the funniest thing I'd heard in 10 minutes and laughed so hard TD Banknorth beer made a brief appearance in my nasal passage.

He tried to take a picture, but it didn't come out, so I crafted an re-creation of the neck-face.

It doesn't do it justice, but you get an idea. Wait - first drink 5 beers really fast, then look at the picture. Now it's funnier, right?

UPDATE!

Tim sent me the actual pic, which I tried to lighten up.

The King of Kong

Did you pump quarters into video games in the 80's or 90's? The check this out: "The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters". It's a documentary that follows the adventure of an out-of-work engineer who he tries to take the world high score for the 1980's-era arcade game Donkey Kong from the reigning champion. I know, it sounds like a geek fest, and it SO is. It will validate your mundane life and make you feel like the coolest kid in the room watching this.

Money scene - the Challenger is playing his own Kong machine in his garage (yes, he bought his own machine) with a video camera pointed on the game screen -the tape would then be sent in as evidence to his high score, should he achieve one. And on one dull evening, he does it! He has passed the High Score record for Kong which had stood since being set 1982. The guy keeps playing, racking the score higher, knowing he driving the record higher and higher. In the background (off camera, but you hear it) his 4 year old child is pleading with him that he has "messed himself" and needs to be changed. Torn between running up the World Record score (which he has been chasing for half his life) and attending to his feces-laden child, the Challenger makes the obvious choice. He keeps playing.

A bonus to the story is Mister Awesome (http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=31685) who lives up to his name. He even has lightning bolts on his Firebird to accentuate his awesomeness, which is pretty, uh, awesome.