De-volution

I heard about an amazing scientific discovery in the remote regions of Turkey that strikes me as disturbing.

Scientists discovered a group of people who walk on all fours and talk in a primitive language. The ape-like behavior was not taught to them, it was their natural form despite living among people who walk in the "new fangled" bi-ped format.

In this article they theorize that the four-legged walking is a genetic trait may have re-surfaced due to inbreeding. So why has this not appeared in any Appalacian communities?

From the article:

"The idea that evolution can run backward isn’t new; some scientists say there have been confirmed cases of it in animals. But it’s also a controversial subject, and considered hard to prove in any given case.

(the scientist) argued that this could be a case of it, so the mutation—known to run in one Turkish family—might offer scientists an unprecedented glimpse into human origins. "



The Pope was quoted as saying that an independant Vatican research team determined that these people were not exhibiting traits of a long-buried human gene sequence, but were walking that way by choice, looking for loose change.

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bon appetite!

Nobody has to tell you that The Office is the best show since Seinfeld. Even the stuff they cut from the show is great. Here's a clip from the deleted scenes, in which Dwight displays his spud gun.



(here's a link if the embed control isn't working for you -
http://www.youtube.com/v/hq8T4v-Lxmw)

I watched this 20 times in a row yesterday and laughed so hard my spleen hurt afterwards.

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Lie Detector

People lie, it's just how it is.

Which is why I like the idea that cars today have their own "black boxes" like the ones found in aircraft, called an EVR (event data recorder).

Most people don't know they have one in their car, but 40 million cars do. It captures all kinds of info about how you drive, which could be very useful to certain interested parties.

I'm cool with the data being used in accident reconstruction cases, especially where a death was involved. I saw this (http://www.cnn.com/video/partners/clickability/index.html?url=/video/law/2006/11/26/kaye.car.black.boxes.wsvn ) on CNN and didn't feel bad for him in the least.

In the future, I can see the data can be used in a host of ways - evidence in traffic court or for keeping tabs on how your kids drive the car. Makes me damn glad they didn't have this a few years back when I was driving my buddies around in my Dad's Volvo on a crazy Friday night. Yeah, it was a sweet (and safe) ride.

Maybe knowledge of this device will prevent people from driving like assholes. Then again, don't count on it.

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Dangerous Toys

Today is famous for shopping. Thousands of people will be getting up early and hitting the malls this weekend, climbing over the bodies of the less-strong shoppers to get those door buster specials and super savings.

Me? I slept in.

As a service, here's a guide of this year's most dangerous toys. Be sure and pick a few up for those annoying kids on your "naughty" list.















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Two Things

Thanksgiving is the best damn holiday. Why? Because it has no ties to religion, which means everyone can join hands and enjoy a family meal and nobody feels left out. You can say "Happy Thanksgiving" and not worry about offending anybody. This holiday is so non-offensive that Canadians added it to their holiday list some years back (although they moved it to October). If Canadians will celebrate it, then it has to be non-confrontational.

Second thing, if you're on the fence about seeing the new James Bond movie "Casino Royale", don't be. The movie rocks.

This movie does for the Bond series what "Batman Begins" did for the horrible, horrible Batman series - it breaks all the formula rules, strips out the cartoon-ish / goofy aspects of the action and presents the character as the original writer intended. Bond movies of late had some lame plot lines and gimmicks that just made you shake your head (like his invisible car in the last movie - give me a freakin break).

The Bond character as Ian Flemming wrote him was a badass guy. That's who shows up in this flick, with a plot updated for modern times. There are some stunning action sequences, twists you don't see coming, and dialog that don't sound like it was written by a 15 year old. And the women in the movie are not named after female body parts, which is also a refreshing change. I mean, c'mon, how many chicks do you know named Octopussy? That was just crazy.

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Orlando Coaster Power Rankings (updated)

Because who wants to waste time with coasters that don't make you hurl? Not me.

#1 The Hulk (Universal) - Still the king. Not as fast or high as Krakken, but the take off is like nothing I'd ever experienced. Halfway up the first hill (you know, the slow climb up up up) the car takes off and you feel like you're going to fly off the tracks as you hit the peak, then the car speeds down and through a dizzying loop configuration. The first time I did this ride, I walked down the off ramp and was weaving from side to side - along with everyone else. It effs with your equilibrium for like a minute after the ride is over. I turned to the guy I had rode with (who was someone I had, up until then, considered a very reserved and calm guy) and he had a huge grin on his face. I didn't even ask the question, but he was already answering me. "Yeah, let's ride that AGAIN!"

#2 Krakken (Seaworld) - It's billed as the fastest, tallest and steepest drop coaster in Florida. The climb to the top of the first drop takes f o r e v e r and that makes it all the better. This coaster is best if you can get a front seat, the view of that huge plunge sends a surge of adrenaline though your body that makes it very hard to walk straight when you climb out after the ride, much like the Hulk. Later, you will see that drop in your sleep and wake up with a pounding heart. It's that good.

#3 Expedition Everest (Disney Animal Kingdom) - This is the newest coaster down there and it has some very cool and unique traits that make it a surprise the first time through. You go forward and backwards at different parts, as well as outside and inside (dark) sections. A nice mix, but no cardiac arrest-inducing thrill that the first 2 can cause. They need to skip the story and add a few more thrill elements to the Expedition to make it a top contender.

#4 Dueling Dragons (Universal) - Universal doesn't dress up it's rides in frills and stories like Disney does, and I think that works when you have a kickass ride - who cares about the legend of the Yeti - I just want to hurtle toward the ground at 60 mph and then head directly at an on-coming coaster on another track, barely miss, then get thrown into a few inverted loops for good measure. Sweet.

#5 Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith (Disney MGM Studios) - This is an inside coaster and maybe should be in it's own category that way. It can't have the kind of drops of an outside ride, but it makes up for it with lots of inversion and turns in the pitch black with Aerosmith hits blaring. The take off is the highlight - you rocket into the dark going from zero to 40mph in one second. The speed plus the darkness equals fun.

#6 Space Mountain (Disney Magic Kingdom) - This was King back in the day (later 70's?) and it still gives a minor thrill due to the darkness factor, but you don't get off with your knees shaking, so what's the point? My daughter is not a coaster person and she went on the ride. She won't be going again, but she likes the bragging rights of having done it.

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It's A Small World After All

You would think after a week of vacation, I'd be rested and ready to get back to the world.

So not.

The occasion was a gathering of the grandkids at the happiest place on Earth (no, not Hooters, Disney World) for a week of family fun. The kids and grandparents had their "moments", documented with hundreds of pictures as they went from spectacle to spectacle, while us, the parents, just tried to keep up with them. I think the grandparents had more fun than the kids.

I did enjoy being cut off from the world, avoiding news of any kind for almost a week. Aside from the DVD's I brought along (the OFFICE, season 2) I couldn't help but watch a few of the televangelists that are all over the dial down South. I witnessed one guy cure an ankle injury in about 10 seconds through the power of prayer. Well, I didn't see the person get healed, he just stopped mid-sentence and said, "Well praise be, one of you out there with the ankle problem, you can walk now. Amen." Then went back to talking about the evil of popular tv shows. Let's just say he's not a fan of LOST either.

Damn if my ankle DIDN'T feel better.

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Serenity Now

I'm off the grid for a week. But may I suggest a few of my favorites?

bad housekeeping

uniforms for everybody

drunk dialing

bad santas

Peace out, peeps.

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Shamus' TV Minute!

(imagine the Entertainment Tonight- type music behind this post)

LOST is going on hiatus - good. Maybe the writers can watch a few episodes of HEROES to learn how to properly tell a story.

KFED is being tossed from the Brittany gravy train. I didn't predict that marriage breaking up, but that's because I didn't have to. Best new name for Federline that I heard since the announcement - FEDEX. Get it?

I really liked SMITH but it got cancelled pretty quickly. I guess CBS needed room for their new addition, CSI: Scranton.

There's no way to make ELECTION coverage exciting. Well, that's not true. I should say there's no way to do it with the FCC guidelines.

I can't watch DANCING WITH THE STARS for more than 10 seconds before I get really disturbed. That's certainly not how I dance when I go to a toga party. TO-GA! TO-GA!

I'm going to miss the POLITICAL ADS. Every election cycle they go farther and farther into the realm of bad taste. Thankfully, YouTube has all the good ones so I can enjoy them over and over.

Shamus out!
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Improv

This past weekend in Boston included a dose of culture, in the form of Improv theater. We were in the Cambridge area, a hip and hoppin section of the city. Even the beggars have a beatnik attitude, charming you so they can grab a cup of Starbucks coffee.

The theater itself was small and intimate, and my brother found us seats in the back, out of the way of the performers. He didn't want to be pulled into the show, as those who sit too close are apt to be.

If you've seen "Who's Line Is It Anywhere", then you've seen the pinnacle of this artwork, and local productions are not that slick. The performers get stymied sometimes, and you can tell when they are "filling the gap" until they can think of a new direction. And also there was no Drew Carey.


One of the guys was very good - comfortable, original and funny. Unfortunately, he was someone they pulled form the audience. When they heard him getting all the laughs they quickly sent him back to his seat. I bet they hate it when the audience is funnier than they are.

Overall it was a fun show, and any night out is better than a night in. So there's that.

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Locate Shamus!

Talk about amazing technology!

There is a website that can locate a cell phone (if it is on) on a Google earth map. I'm dumping my current cell number in a few weeks, so you can try my cell number to see it work. My brother Tim showed me this while I was out in Boston this weekend and I nearly crapped my pants.

Go to this site (http://www.geomobiles.net ) and type or paste in the cell number 0015185772094 (include the country code). The click LOCATE and you'll see where I am.

Cool, eh?

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Major Ass Kicker

Who says there's no good news from Iraq? Chuck Norris has arrived!


AP photo

As you can see from this picture, he's a big hit with the ladies. And the bi-curious servicemen.

Combine this with the new low gas prices, and I see no reason to worry about the election.

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Got Atmosphere?

From the "As If We Didn't Have Enough To Worry About" file comes the news the demise of the Earth may come due to a loss of atmosphere.

Scientists got this idea from studying Mars, which many theorize was a blue planet (containing air/water and life forms) back in the day - like 4 billion years ago. Life on Mars was sweet, with free bowling on Tuesdays and all you can drink Sundays. And their days were 40 hours long, so you could sleep in every day and still work 8 hours.

Then things on Mars went bad. The planet lost it's magnetic field (the molten core lost it's luster, which generated the field) which protected the planet from the solar winds. Without the shield, the solar winds began to eroded the atmosphere away to nothing.

This erosion process takes a long time after the failure of the magnetic field (which is showing a decline), so it's not like we have to worry about not making it to Christmas, or cancelling the trip to Cedar park next June. Althought there are cracks in the magnetic shield around out planet (little ones) it is more likely we'll be struck by a planet killing asteroid long before our air leaks away into space due to the loss of our shield.

Personally, I think the demise of the Earth will stem from something more incidious. Somewhere out in space there is alien species who will catch stray television signals. These signals will be episodes of the ABC hit show "Lost". They will enjoy it at first, but soon become enraged and frustrated at the slow plot development and confused story lines until they can stand it no longer and send a long-distance laser beam to put an end the dragging series, and by way of collateral damage, us as well.

Damn, that's depressing. I need to switch medications or something.

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